Holy cow! Is this some bull? – Lagniappe Mobile

By | November 12, 2020

We survived the election. But now it seems we are back in yet another “cone of uncertainty.” No, I am not talking about the post-election drama (or maybe I am), but I was actually talking about Tropical Storm Eta. I mean, 2020, come on and give us a break. I swear to God, if even a lawn chair falls over on my deck or my power even blinks, I am moving to the Bahamas. Oh, wait, I guess that doesn’t make much sense. Fine, you win, I’ll take the hurricanes but could you please ease up on global pandemics and the national partisan divide? And if we do get hit by Eta, could you please just magically teach all residents on both sides of Mobile Bay how to treat a stoplight that is blinking yellow (proceed with caution), red (four-way stop) or is out (four-way stop)? Please and thank you.

Keep calm and carry on with the rest of this week’s hot mess of news.

 

Holy Cow!

I don’t know what is going on around here lately, but the cows are going mad!

First, one of my Baldwin County spies noticed “a short and tragic Baldwin County story, told in two neighborhood groups.” First, on “What’s Happening on Fish River,” someone shared a post that said: “Black and white cow with tag in ear, moseying down County Road 26, near Magnolia Springs. Watch out!”

Then, we may have learned “what happened” to this cow by reading the “What’s Happening in Foley” page, where someone posted shortly after the Magnolia River post: “There is a dead cow on Hwy. 98, not too far from County Road 55. Does anyone know what happened?”

Sadly, I think we do.

Not to be outdone, Mobile County cows made their presence known this week, too. On the morning of Nov. 10, one of my DIP spies said there were three dead cows on the side of Dauphin Island Parkway and “bulls on the loose.” Later media reports said they sleeping on the side of the road when a car hit them.

This is just weird. Also, poor cows.

 

 

Was the suspect named Mike Tyson?

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According to the Mobile Police Department’s overnight report, “on Monday, Nov. 9 at approximately 6:50 p.m., police responded to the area of Cathedral Square, 300 Conti Street, to a report of an injured male. Upon arrival, officers located the victim suffering from an injury to his ear. A short time later, police located the suspect who was also injured with bite marks. During a fight, the suspect bit off the victim’s bottom half earlobe and spit it at him. The victim refused to press charges and was transported to the hospital for treatment.”

 

Well, kids, that’s all I got this time! Just remember, whether rain or shine, dramatic or scandalous or some plain ol’ cows-on-the-loose lovin’, I will be there. Ciao!

 

 

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